Tuesday, November 30, 2010
DEAR: DYNAMITE DAD
2:10 PM | 
Posted by
Ericka Williams
I'm a GREAT father to my son, and I would do any and everything for him. I always have him, I take care of him just like his mother does. Me and his mother are not doing well and we are about to separate. I am mad that the mother will get custody right away. I will have to fight to get custody. Please explain to me why it's like that? I take care of my SON if not more then her but she gets to say "You're not taking my son!" and that's how it will be because she's the mother. That's not right....
Father's are DAMNED it they do and DAMNED if they don't. When we're not there for our child, we're dead beats but when we're there and we want to take full control we can't. I need help understanding?
Dynamite Dad
Dear Dynamite Dad,
I feel your pain. I will try to answer your concerns in the order that you presented them. First, I commend you for being a Man and handling your responsibilities. The world needs more GREAT dads like you. Now, you say that you and your son's mother are about to seperate. What makes you want full custody? Is she not fit to keep your child, is she not as good a mom as you are a dad? I ask that because you are suggesting that you want to have him live with you. Isn't it unfair to her for you to take him full-time the same way it would be unfair for her to have sole custody? Why can't you have joint custody?
You are saying that you will have to fight. That is not necessarily true. You actually are legally entitled to joint custody and if you and his mom can agree on the sharing of time, then the courts won't even be required to get involved. That would be the best case scenario. The worst case scenario is that she refuses to be cooperative. In that event, the courts will hear your complaint and mediate for you two to come up with a "sharing agreement". You have a right to see and raise your child and the courts will help you keep that right. So....yes, it seems that men get the raw end of the stick but oftentimes it is because of the "deadbeats" that make it hard for the "good ones".
What happens a lot of times is that men do not know their rights and women use that to their advantage by calling shots that they cannot rightfully call. It took two of you to make the child, the child does not belong to one parent any more than the other parent. Women, as emotional beings, oftentimes, make men suffer by using the child if the relationship didn't go the way they wanted it to go. And that's unfair to use your child to get back at their father. Children need their Dads, so make sure you never stop fighting for what's YOURS!
In conclusion, if you are doing what's RIGHT, SHE has no Right to steal your child from you. Tell her what you want and if she fights, go get that RIGHT!
Father's are DAMNED it they do and DAMNED if they don't. When we're not there for our child, we're dead beats but when we're there and we want to take full control we can't. I need help understanding?
Dynamite Dad
Dear Dynamite Dad,
I feel your pain. I will try to answer your concerns in the order that you presented them. First, I commend you for being a Man and handling your responsibilities. The world needs more GREAT dads like you. Now, you say that you and your son's mother are about to seperate. What makes you want full custody? Is she not fit to keep your child, is she not as good a mom as you are a dad? I ask that because you are suggesting that you want to have him live with you. Isn't it unfair to her for you to take him full-time the same way it would be unfair for her to have sole custody? Why can't you have joint custody?
You are saying that you will have to fight. That is not necessarily true. You actually are legally entitled to joint custody and if you and his mom can agree on the sharing of time, then the courts won't even be required to get involved. That would be the best case scenario. The worst case scenario is that she refuses to be cooperative. In that event, the courts will hear your complaint and mediate for you two to come up with a "sharing agreement". You have a right to see and raise your child and the courts will help you keep that right. So....yes, it seems that men get the raw end of the stick but oftentimes it is because of the "deadbeats" that make it hard for the "good ones".
What happens a lot of times is that men do not know their rights and women use that to their advantage by calling shots that they cannot rightfully call. It took two of you to make the child, the child does not belong to one parent any more than the other parent. Women, as emotional beings, oftentimes, make men suffer by using the child if the relationship didn't go the way they wanted it to go. And that's unfair to use your child to get back at their father. Children need their Dads, so make sure you never stop fighting for what's YOURS!
In conclusion, if you are doing what's RIGHT, SHE has no Right to steal your child from you. Tell her what you want and if she fights, go get that RIGHT!
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A Women Scorned 3
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About Me
- Ericka Williams
- Ericka Williams is a tour de force, a phenomonal woman. She is a compassionate person who not only cares about herself and hers, but she cares about humanity. All of her books are themed to show the unlimited access of human beings to redemption. She is a Christian, spreading the message that Jesus saves; no matter who you are, what you've done, or what other people think of you. She uses societal ills, her own experiences, and real situations that we all face, to show that their is a light at the end of every tunnel, if you take God's hand and let him lead the way. She may not fit the mold of a "saint", but she sure is a believer and she knows that we all only have the obligation to spread the Word, the way that we personally know how. Ericka Williams is a mother of two, an elementary school Language Arts teacher, an actor, a director, and a producer of short films. She is currently in the cast of The Cartel Publications, feature "Pitbulls in a Skirt" movie being released in the summer of 2011. She continues to write books, act, and prepare to fulfill her dream of having her books turned into films.
A Women Scorned 2
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A Women Scorned
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Shining Star
All That Glitters
ESharan Presents
1 comments:
I agree with your advice!
I do feel bad for fathers that do, do right by their kids but because of the left-handed system they are given a bad deal from the start.
However, the deadbeat fathers are the ones that make it hard for the good ones. And besides that, kids are most often left to their mothers as a first choice simply because us women are considered to be the nurtures by nature if you understand what I am saying.
But if she is an ok mother then you both need to decide on joint custody because you don't want your child to grow up thinking that one parent wanted me more than the other if you are both two stable, mentally functioning and healthy functioning people.
Separation is always difficult. Just do the best that you can even if it means to give your all! Tired, weak, and worn out! Just do what you have to do!
Great advice Ms. Williams!!! lol
:-)
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