Welcome To Ask Ericka

Ask Ericka is an advice column that gives my readers, fans, and supporters a chance to reach out with their personal questions and dilemmas. I am a serious minded individual. I always want to help those in need and because of my great insight about life I give great answers. I am not a licensed practitioner or counselor but I am someone who has had many experiences and have always been one that my peers have come to consult and counsel with. Ask Ericka is another way that I try to lend a hand to help those in need. In the event that you are struggling with a life-threatening or dangerous issue, I always recommend professional counseling as well.

The Robbin Hoods

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Street Literature: Meeting Ericka Williams, Author/Teacher/Producer

Street Literature: Meeting Ericka Williams, Author/Teacher/Producer: Ericka Williams Meet Ericka Williams: author, teacher, producer, public speaker, and more. Ericka has published five (5) street lit nov...
Monday, October 24, 2011

Listen To This: Ericka Williams Presents "The Robbin Hoods"

Based On Actual Events...

The Robbin Hoods are burglars. They are hood stars who are living the good life splurging their money on women, fast cars, jewels, nice homes, trips, and drugs. Chance was from Brooklyn. His mother moved him and his siblings to New Jersey for a better life. They moved to the suburbs where the dangers and crime of city life were not supposed to exist. Very early on his family learns that the have-nots are surrounded by those who are successful; as opposed to the projects where everyone is struggling. Chance chooses a life of robbery to support his mother and siblings. The "crew"started out robbing houses in their town and the surrounding working class and middle class towns.

What started out as a petty crime with teenagers who would cut school and break and enter into houses, on foot, turned into a multi-million dollar empire when the crew took their craft to a higher level. They graduated from boys to men, who made millions of dollars when they began venturing into exclusive upper class neighborhoods. The story is about the unattainable "American Dream", when the only dream hopeless and uneducated men have is to steal someone else's "Dream Come True ".The Robbin Hoods is about what happens when you take from others, instead of building your own. Click Below to listen:


Wednesday, September 7, 2011

For The Love Or Money

Hello, I read a few of your posting and I am struggling with a few issues of my own and would love to get your insight. A little about myself. I am 31 with a new born and a seven year old. The relationship with my first son's father failed because he was incapable of holding down the house hold money wise. My current boyfriend is a bread winner he is really great in all areas working, domestic, show interests in my oldest son and we have a very good relationship. I respect him and that is the most important thing to me. However I know that he deals with other women! I have struggled with this because I haven’t stepped out on our relationship but have come to terms with the fact that men cheat. A big part feel I'm settling by staying but I fear another failed relationship and not having a man present for my two boys.. Question is it wrong for me to except what he's doing if he handling his business at home?




Answer:
Dear Love Or Money,


If you can deal with your man being with other women and it not hurt you, then I guess you are fine. If you choose to accept that men cheat and you feel that you cannot be better without him, then stay. If him being with other women does not affect how he treats you and your relationship, then you should be happy. A lot of women just "deal" with it. I have never been a woman to accept that. I feel that what you allow is what will happen. If you do not want that in your life, do not take it. Will you be alone? Yes, until you meet the man who understands what that does to women, and doesn't choose to be that "type" of man. Men, those who cheat, seem to have plenty of excuses as to why it is harmless. But that is because they are the ones doing it.

I say it is very harmful and it does not work. Here's why....

1. There are different ways that he can cheat. He can have different one night stands or he can have other "relationships" with women that are consistent and periodic to regular. How does that affect a woman and the relationship with that man? Well, for one, you must be concerned about your safety. Both "ways" are dangerous to your health. What if he doesn't use a condom? If it's a bunch of one night stands how comfortable are you in knowing that he will use a condom EVERY TIME? If he is bonding with other women and maybe it's only one or two, he will probably stop using condoms after a while with her, or them, and you do not know what she is doing. since she knows about you. Dangerous.

2. If he is consistently "dating" other women, there is the strong possibility, although he will deny the possibility of it, that he will catch feelings. Do you want your man feeling that he can't leave another woman alone? AND you as well? He will want you AND her. You will be sitting there at home, knowing that you are sharing your man with a woman that he cares about.

3. Time is energy. What happens when he begins to prefer the time he is spending with her as opposed to you. See men like to have an "escape" from the kids crying and the whole "house" thing, but as women we don't have that luxury. So when he feels the pressure he will keep running to her instead of sharing the pressure with you and that's not fair. He will bring home the bacon, leave it on the table, and run to his "paradise" outside. He will start to lose the balance that he had in the beginning because being with her means no commitment, no headaches....you become the headache and the excuse for him to start arguments to leave. What is then happening is that he is no longer your partner but your roommate. A man should want to be there through thick times, not leave you to deal with them alone. When he should be spending time with you, you will be finding yourself alone more and more because actually, it is like an addiction or a bad habit that just grows from something "harmless" to a "disaster" because you will not be happy with that. Or maybe you will.

4. Men say "A man is gonna be a man". That is a cop-out and that is their way of celebrating their right to a double standard. Ask your man if you can have "friends" outside of the home as well. Unfortunately, men can dish it, but they cannot take it. If it's "harmless" then why can't you do it too?

5. What men don't realize it that it is not the just the "Act" of cheating. It is not just the sexual encounter that messes everything up because yes, he can genuinely love his woman and sleep with another one, who he does not care for BUT...it is the "ability to cheat" that he loves and he will not want to give it up. So maybe it's not the woman or women themselves but the fact that he will love the freedom to do it. So he will love cheating. And that will interfere with his attention to you. It will affect the time that he will spend with you. A woman knowing this will begin to despise her man. And THAT is what they don't see. You will not want to do anything for him or with him. You will be angry and you will feel neglected. You will know that he is supposed to love you, not everyone else. You will start to hate him. That's what they don't see. Why should we look up to them and they are making us feel unwanted and alone? And we have a man? No! I will not be alone, in a relationship. I'd rather be alone, until I get what I deserve.

Then what happens is he is living "the life" and you begin to ask yourself why you are allowing yourself to be neglecting while he spends time being charming with someone else. You will start to look at him differently and you will lose your admiration and respect for him because he is supposed to be the man to care for, comfort, and protect you; not hurt you. If you can lay in the bed, wait for him to come home, knowing that you are lonely....then more power to you. When you can wait to get some great sex and he can't give it to you because he's too tired from running around giving his best "work" to the women outside that he feels the need to impress, then where do you fit in? Bottom line, it will affect your relationship and how you feel about him. You will begin to ask yourself, "What's wrong with me that he would rather be doing THAT then doing THIS?" It is not fair to a woman who is doing her deeds, doing what she is supposed to do, taking care of his children and keeping your home intact; while he goes outside to play. When will you get to play? Isn't he supposed to be in this with you? Not with someone else? THEN, what happens when he wants his freedom totally or falls for someone and decides to leave you? After you sat around letting him sample other women. He might find one that he'd rather be with.

Do you feel that you deserve that? Then stay. Is it really harmless? Then don't worry about it.

I say, it's wrong. I have been there and it hurts. And someone who loves you should not be unconcerned about hurting you. If he wants to be with other women, then he should not be in a relationship.

I say cut your losses and take your time to find the man that will not be good with hurting you. Unless, you can handle it.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Editing Couture: A Woman Scorned by Ericka Williams




Editing Couture: A Woman Scorned by Ericka Williams: "JM Benjamin said something in an interview with me that will always stick with me, the 'AUTHOR is the brand, not the book.' I've taken that..."
Sunday, February 20, 2011

DEAR: LIL ONES

What do I do if I have a little sister who blames me for everything? My sister is so annoying. She is seven and we are always fighting. What should I do? My brother is always asking me for everything. He wants everything. What should I do?
Lil Ones

Dear Lil Ones,
I am the youngest of my sister and brother. I was the baby. I have heard that I was spoiled and I do remember getting on my sister’s nerves. I thought she was mean to me. What I know is that siblings don’t like each other just because they are related. Each child in a household has a different personality and they can clash. When you feel that there is a problem between you and a sibling, the first thing to do is to make your parent(s) aware of the problem and then deal with it two ways. First, understand that a younger child is more selfish and needy. They need attention, they want what they want. Sometimes you should give it to them. When you were their age, you wanted your parents to give you what you wanted, and sometimes you got it. One the other hand, you must be stern with children so that they understand that in life, you cannot always have what you want. People that always got what they wanted growing up, have a hard time as adults when they learn that this is just not reality. There are limits. So, make a time or schedule for yourself and share it with your younger brother or sister. Tell them the days when you will play with them, share with them, or let them in your room. Tell them the days that you will not. Make sure that they stick to it so they will know. That way you don’t always have to go to your parent. It is an agreement between you and your brother or sister, like a deal. Tell them that if they keep the deal with you, then that is between you two; but if they don’t, play with then you WON’T!

DEAR: BOYS ARE BEASTS

Why do boys always like girls for what they have not for what you have inside you, your heart, or your personality? It seems like more boys like other girls better than me. I can never get what I want. Why?
Boys are Beasts

Dear Boys are Beasts,
Boys are players. They like games. They like what’s easy. So never be a girl to give them what they want because you will not be special to them. Always be different and care more about yourself than them. When a boy begins to look for a girlfriend he is not going to want the girls he used to play with. He is gonna want a special girl. So right now, don’t worry about the other girls. If you want to have what you want, you have to wait until you are a little older when a boy is a young man and can see your heart better. You are a special gift that should be cherished, not used and thrown away. Remember, don’t be like the rest….be unique and pass the test!

DEAR: BORN BAD

I’m fighting with my mom a lot. What should I do?
Born Bad

Dear Born Bad,

Sometimes our parents don’t understand that we must grow. Sometimes they don’t want to let us go because they are scared. The world outside is very mean and dangerous so if your mom is holding a tight grip it’s because she cares. Now, if you, on the other hand, are trying to demand your independence by being disrespectful, rude, or deceitful, then you are not being fair either. Sometimes our friends take precedence, meaning we think they are more important, than our parents; but friends come and go, family is there through thick and thin. So what should you do? Be honest and open about what you want to do. The more you parent thinks you can be trusted, the more they will trust you with being independent. You must earn it. If you are always getting into trouble than you cannot be trusted to make your own decisions. Your mom may be saving you from yourself; meaning she may see you headed in the wrong direction and she will not sit by and allow you to destroy yourself or your future. Tell your mom that you love and appreciate her. As a mom, I know how it feels do to all that I have for my family and feel taken for granted. It’s not a good feeling. So remember, tell your mom how you feel and ask her how you two can work things out. It takes two to argue and two to get along.

DEAR: SCAREDY CAT

If you like someone what do you tell them?
Scaredy Cat

Dear Scaredy Cat,

If you like someone, there is always a possibility that the feeling is not mutual. When you get prepared to tell them, be prepared for both responses. If you get a negative response, don’t be pushy. Accept it. If you get the answer that you want to hear, that they like you too, don’t mess it up by rushing or being pushy either. Liking someone is okay but they are not obligated to you because you like them. The best way to get the results you want is to be yourself and show, not tell, that you are someone to like back. Always remember, when someone doesn’t like you, someone else will and always remember how it feels when someone you don’t like starts stalking you; and never be that person.

DEAR FRIEND OR FOE

I have a friend that I don’t know whether I can trust or not? What can I do?
Friend or Foe

Dear Friend or Foe,
First, I would ask the person out right if they can be trusted. When they say yes, which they will, I will test that person. Asking them the question should give them the heads up that you are not sure. “They” say trust your instincts, because a lot of times we know in our heart the real answer. I would share something that is not true with that person and see if it comes back; or ask them for an easy favor and see if they are dependable. I know it sounds sneaky but if they pass the test, be honest and tell them that you are glad they didn’t fail.

A Women Scorned 3

A Women Scorned 3
Coming Soon!!!

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Ericka Williams
Ericka Williams is a tour de force, a phenomonal woman. She is a compassionate person who not only cares about herself and hers, but she cares about humanity. All of her books are themed to show the unlimited access of human beings to redemption. She is a Christian, spreading the message that Jesus saves; no matter who you are, what you've done, or what other people think of you. She uses societal ills, her own experiences, and real situations that we all face, to show that their is a light at the end of every tunnel, if you take God's hand and let him lead the way. She may not fit the mold of a "saint", but she sure is a believer and she knows that we all only have the obligation to spread the Word, the way that we personally know how. Ericka Williams is a mother of two, an elementary school Language Arts teacher, an actor, a director, and a producer of short films. She is currently in the cast of The Cartel Publications, feature "Pitbulls in a Skirt" movie being released in the summer of 2011. She continues to write books, act, and prepare to fulfill her dream of having her books turned into films.
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A Women Scorned 2

A Women Scorned 2
In Stores Now!!

A Women Scorned

A Women Scorned
In Stores Now!!!

Shining Star

Shining Star

All That Glitters

All That Glitters
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